Setting the right limits

I have not been in more than one relationship in my life. And the only one I have been in, is unusual and possibly unrealistic to a large extent for most people. Possibly getting out of such a relationship is as painful as it gets. But what hurts more than even breaking up, is being suspended mid-air; wondering. Being too afraid to ask where things stand while at the same time trying to figure that same thing out in your own mind first.

The one thing I can be happy about, is that the person in question is my best friend. And hopefully that means the current....situation, doesn't mean us pushing each other out of our lives. I highly doubt either one of us is ready for that. In many ways, we draw strength from each others existance and the transperancy between us. 

Feeling secure with being more honest to someone than even yourself...that's the kind of relationship you don't just make up your mind to "get over" overnight.

So this is where I stand right now. Confused, because we make so much sense together and yet reality is a constant and cruel remainder of the fact that a future might be impossible. Yes, we knew that when we decided to try. We knew there was bound to be heartache and a deep sense of loss if things didn't work out, like some sort of miracle( That is is the only word). And yet we dared to love and dared to dream. Undecided, because I am still so much in love with him, and I know getting over me isn't that easy for him either. And hopeful, because we can just turn around and decide to give it a wild shot, in spite of the odds.

All I know is, we will come up with a decision some day soon. But till we do, and until we find the courage to take the plunge, we have each other. Best friends. 

I cannot ask for more.